


(to ask for) forgiveness

by sureimiku



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tales of Xillia Spoilers, alvin is mentioned but he’s not actually there, post-Hamil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26243233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sureimiku/pseuds/sureimiku
Summary: Leia's having a hard time moving on.{day 2 of xillia week; hamil/isolation}
Relationships: Jude Mathis & Leia Rolando
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10
Collections: Tales of Xillia Week





	(to ask for) forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Leia struggled to forgive Alvin, even if we don’t see it much in the game :’) so I wrote this fic as an introspection to her feelings at the time 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! kudos & comments are always appreciated

Hamil still haunted her dreams. Weeks, even months after it happened, there was always the striking image of _him,_ pointing _his_ gun towards her childhood friend. Leia would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared to death when she saw him take aim, let alone it being a friend she’d known for months. 

A lot of things had been on her mind, actually. Not only Hamil but also Agria, the feeling of her hand slipping still lingering. How exactly was she supposed to feel at this moment, having lost a friendship and teetering with another? 

Trigleph was as quiet as ever when she stepped out of the apartment complex. She took a seat on the swingset, gazing at the still night sky. They’d been in Trigleph for only a day now, and it’d been _that_ long since Alvin admitted his wrongfulness back in Hamil. _Hamil._ She was starting to hate the sound of that word now. The town should’ve been a peaceful memory, the place where Jude said he’d saved Elize from her misery. Now, the town only served as a memory of where she got shot as an _accident._

“Can’t sleep either?” The familiar medical student stepped towards the swingset area, leaning against its metal pole. “Mind if I join you?” Leia nodded promptly, grateful she had at least _someone_ to talk with. Being alone in an entirely new environment was not exactly the most comfortable. Jude didn’t speak for a while, letting Leia have time for herself.

Turns out, she was the one to break the silence. 

“How did you settle things with Alvin? You know, while I was...passed out.” She gripped the swing’s silver chains. The last thing she’d remembered was a ringing in her ears, her forehead bumping Jude’s as she hit the earthy ground. 

“Oh, that?” Jude kicked back the swing a little, his legs slightly dangling off the edge. “We fought. One on one. He would’ve gotten me if I hadn’t snapped out of my depressed state.” Alvin clearly had the upper hand, dual wielding, and having far more combat experience than a fifteen-year-old; after all, he’d taught Milla to fight himself. Jude wasn’t even sure how he ended up being the victor; perhaps being fueled by sheer anger was the reason. 

“So you won?”

“Yeah. Knocked some sense into him while I was at it.” He stared at his open palms, covered with countless callouses; some old and wearing off, some new. “I didn’t want to fight, especially since we’ve known him for so long. He must have had his reasons, right? To want to—” Jude shudders at the thought— “fight, and potentially kill us?” 

“It still wasn’t right of him to barge into the room while you were in such a bad state!” Leia raised her voice a considerably high amount, her fists clenching the chains tighter. To her, it wasn’t okay in any manner for Alvin to do what he did...even if he wanted to go home. The darkness of the night did well enough to hide her face, which was prone to tears at the moment. 

“I know.” Jude’s heart was heavy and strong enough to accept the mercenary’s apology for the time being, but surely there was something he wasn’t telling them. Why was he so desperately trying to get home? Alvin hadn’t spoken much in regards to his family; not even about Gilland, someone he was blood-related to. Jude connected the dots— it was probably because he was waiting for something or _someone_ here. “I think we should ask him about it someday...once we finish saving the world. Would you be able to wait and forgive him until then?” 

He did have a point. Alvin was always one to be secretive, to wear a mask on and pretend everything was okay. “I...I can’t forgive him yet.” The chains were finally free from her grasp, her hands sitting in her lap now. “Not for a while, at least. It’ll take time.” She finally looked up, locking eyes with Jude. “Yeah. It’ll take a while, but… I hope we can all get back on the same page.” 

Jude smiled for the first time since they sat together. “Yeah. Me too.” He rose up from his seat, lending a hand out for Leia to take. “Why don’t we go rest up for the night. I think we’ve all had a hard day.” Leia obliged, taking his hand. (She was surprised by how rough it was. Had it gotten worse since the fight?) 

The apartment was silent, save for the soft snoring of their other companions. They were going to check out a facility tomorrow; Helioborg, the Elympions called it. To be honest, being in a whole other world derived from nature was enough to fill with her unease, not to mention the other party members on edge. It was just as she told Jude earlier; only time would heal them, _lots_ of time. 

Leia took the couch closest to the window, taking in the moonlight’s gentle beams. Her thoughts about Alvin, thoughts about Agria and everyone else, dissipated as she surrendered to her tiredness. 

For once, she did not dream of Hamil that night. 


End file.
